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In the good ol' days, fascists satisfied themselves with simple, totalitarian pleasures like dictatorships, censorship, torture, and genocide. Recently their insatiable appetite for control-freakism has spread to new markets, such as office supply management, message board administration, and behind-the-back blog editing. But now it appears they have discovered even more new terrain to invade and impose their absolute dominion: Karaoke moderation! The fascist in charge of managing the karaoke room at the Sunset Bowl last Saturday (see photo above) led another assault against Freedom with some furious, memorable quotes:
Our Emperor called for a "30 second dead silence" to emphasize that the audience should refrain from singing along or talking during the performances. "If you get louder, the singer stays at the same volume." Nevermind that the singer's friends singing along with him traditionally represents at least half the fun of karaoke: His Worship had spoken; His word is Law.
When an unshaven, unkempt-looking Seattlest contributor approached the mic, our fascist Overlord, betraying the obvious prejudices, helpfully commanded: "No Cussing!"
"I don't want to dampen anyone's spirits but... No Dancing!" While hilarious, this decree only encouraged the next group of singers to engage in some synchronized line dancing when they assumed the mic, thereby sticking it to the Man. The fascist looked on helplessly.
Various groups of bar patrons at separate tables, hitherto strangers to each other, courageously banded together that night in common cause against Evil and announced a henceforth boycott of the Sunset Bowl. Coup d'etat!
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AMEN! Thank you for exposing this guy for what he is. He has effectively ruined karaoke at the Sunset Bowl. Not only is he an ubercontrolling jerk, but they've even done away with the other best part of karaoke, the cheesy videos. Ugh.
While "No Cussing", although lame, seems like a somewhat reasonable request (you are in a all ages bowling alley and we wouldn't want the kids to hear bad words!), the other things seem fairly asinine.
Although the computer program that actually runs the karaoke is somewhat amusing, the bar is not made for karaoke. The speakers there are terrible and a lame jerk-off of a host ruins the experience.
I recommend Talarico's in West Seattle. Where the New Luck Toy used to be, they've torn out walls and opened the space up quite a bit. Kozak's Bar and Grill on Capitol Hill has a interesting crowd coming to it as well!
First off, it's after 9 pm on Thursday in the Bar.
Fuck the no cursing.
I have only done karoake once, and the first and only time was with this guy. He cut off the fun my friends and I were having because his fat, living in his mother's basement, D&D playing, animal porn viewing sweaty ass doesn't like people enjoying themselves.
Oh, and he can't sing himself.
My friend Ashley had this reaction and has instructed me to post this comment for her:
"DUDE.
Did you know that guy totally ruined Potter's birthday extravaganza???
Potter and Soap and I went up to sing, "Don't Stop Believin'" and he didn't put the lyrics on the teleprompter. So we drunkenly slurred it out the best we could, and he bellowed "You mean you need the WORDS for this one?"
As a first-timer, this would have cast a shadow over my confidence up there. Lucky for me, I was also a drunken fool. Next we all sang, "Hello Goodbye" and he introduced us by saying, "Let's get this over with", and then proceeded to turn our mic's off mid-song.
The worst part was that my boyfriend was THE ONLY PERSON in the entire bar. Even with just one person there to witness our drunkenkaraokecherries pop, the dude was an a-hole."
as someone who goes to sunset regularly to bowl, i can only hope they continue employing this guy. the place was already crowded and the closure of leilani has only made things worse.
beyond that, i hate karaoke. the bar is the only place to wait until a lane is available, and drunken off-pitch screeching is the sort of hell i do my best to avoid.
while i sympathize with those of you dealing with such an asshole, i wish you a fond farewell as you take your karaoke parties elsewhere.
Hey Jason, you know what's worse than bad karaoke?
Watching some dude BOWL. Wheeeeeee!
You should hang out by the video games! Or play some pull tabs! Or start working on a sort of mime/performance art piece of you bowling a fuckin' 900 series! Yeah!
i never said i wanted anyone to watch me. nice straw man, though. people ostensibly go to a bowling alley in order to bowl, note the causal relationship between title and purpose, so having the non-bowlers go elsewhere is a good thing in my book. the pull-tabs area is great now that senior citizens can't camp out there all day chain-smoking.
a mime performance is far better than karaoke. at least the mime is silent.