Fascist Karoake Moderator Kills Buzz at Sunset Bowl
In the good ol' days, fascists satisfied themselves with simple, totalitarian pleasures like dictatorships, censorship, torture, and genocide. Recently their insatiable appetite for control-freakism has spread to new markets, such as office supply management, message board administration, and behind-the-back blog editing. But now it appears they have discovered even more new terrain to invade and impose their absolute dominion: Karaoke moderation! The fascist in charge of managing the karaoke room at the Sunset Bowl last Saturday (see photo above) led another assault against Freedom with some furious, memorable quotes:
Our Emperor called for a "30 second dead silence" to emphasize that the audience should refrain from singing along or talking during the performances. "If you get louder, the singer stays at the same volume." Nevermind that the singer's friends singing along with him traditionally represents at least half the fun of karaoke: His Worship had spoken; His word is Law.
When an unshaven, unkempt-looking Seattlest contributor approached the mic, our fascist Overlord, betraying the obvious prejudices, helpfully commanded: "No Cussing!"
"I don't want to dampen anyone's spirits but... No Dancing!" While hilarious, this decree only encouraged the next group of singers to engage in some synchronized line dancing when they assumed the mic, thereby sticking it to the Man. The fascist looked on helplessly.
Various groups of bar patrons at separate tables, hitherto strangers to each other, courageously banded together that night in common cause against Evil and announced a henceforth boycott of the Sunset Bowl. Coup d'etat!
