Maxim Mag on Mariner Chief
What kind of bullshit is this? Maxim magazine ranks the worst managers in baseball and orders Dusty Baker the worst, Ron Gardenhire the second worst and our own Mike Hargrove the third worst. C'mon, Gardenhire is a way better manager than Hargrove. Mike should be at least second and we could even forgive the voting panel for favoring him with a few first place votes over Baker. With a lineup featuring the decaying corpse of Sexson, the crusty shell of Beltre, Ichiro and...uh... With a lineup featuring Sexson, Beltre and Ichiro Hargrove has backhoed the Mariners into a grudge match for last place with the Angels and a 15-21 record. If things continue on this way, and there hasn't been a lot to indicate that they won't, .500 is going to start waving hankies and calling out "bon voyage" at the Mariners because this could be the closest they'll get for awhile. Like sometime in 2007 a while. They're seriously one more injury to a key mediocre player who's been playing beneath himself away from dipping down into Kansas City Royals territory in the ESPN Power Rankings.
But the millionaires are slumping! They're hurt! They're playing for other teams! It's not Hargrove's fault! It is Hargrove's fault. If he needs to get his ass in the batter's box with Sexson and help him through a swing like he's a gigalo tennis instructor he should do it. Call a few team meetings. Slam ownership in the press (anytime you want to call, Mike, we're here for ya). If the season's going to be saved it's on Hargrove's shoulders to do something, anything, now.
Maxim says:
Demerits: Never got enough out of his A-list talent during stints in Cleveland and Baltimore. Here, he can’t even motivate Adrian Beltre to button up his pants before he takes the field, much less run out ground balls…His interpersonal skills might be better suited to a career as an oral hygienist.
And of former Mariner-In-Chief Bob Melvin (number 5 on the list):
I’m curious to see what he might do with double-super-prospects like Stephen Drew and Justin Upton, much in the same way that I’m curious to see what Jenny McCarthy might do with a Chekhov monologue.
Much in the same way we're curious to see what Maxim might do with any subject other than Jenny McCarthy or baseball.
