Drunk Bicycle Enthusiast Urban Primitive Hobos Unite!

Seattle's "urban primitive" community (aka drunk hobos with a fetish for bicycles, holier-than-thou bicycle-related political rhetoric and harrassing people at Critical Mass) have now formed an elite squad in order to better organize their drunk bicycle fetishizing efforts. Behold: "The Bikery!" Ostensibly "a new bike collective project that is about to explode all over town.... Working towards the goal of opening a bicycle resource center and community space for all folks who love bikes and want to learn about them." No word yet if there are going to be any classes on pranking your co-workers with food you dug out of the garbage.

To get things rolling, the collective will host their first live music and booze event this weekend, featuring these musical talents (if you want links, google it yourself; we're lazy):

* The Dead Science
* Whale Bones
* Truckasaurus
* Western Graves
* Orkestar Zirkonium
* Can O' Beans
* Schism
* M'Chateau
* Sam Rousso Soundsystem

According to the bicycle hobo's press release, admission will be "$5 with any bike part or tool (not broken) or $8 without." Aside from the obvious question - What kind of "urban primitive" jackass would try to get by with a broken bike part or tool? - we now have a clear understanding of the value of the bike-rider underworld currency: Those $3 in savings could buy you a lifetime supply of hobo stew!

Taking place Saturday night, May 13th starting at 8pm at some mystery spot called "Villville" [no links found, apparently its a loft of some kind], 1534 1st avenue south (one block south of safeco field). The bikery can be reached at: thebikeryhasacrushonyou@gmail.com