Milk + Rat Poison

A much younger Seattlest probably had several discussions revolving around the mythological Exlax bomb in an unsuspecting foe's milk carton. Oh wouldn't that be funny. And we could live forever in harmony with all the rest of the kids on a playground paradise after the bully was finally brought low. And we can remember at least two distinct occasions when the subject of dosing a municipal water supply came up at a party. Again, ha, ha, ha. Never have we actually poisoned anyone.

Two Klamath Falls middle school kids can't make that claim, however. They plotted and carried out the ole rat poison in the milk carton gag on two classmates but luckily for all involved the tablets hadn't dissolved into the milk by the time it was drunk. Still, how much of a bummer must it be to chug down your 2% and then see a big, wet tablet sitting in the bottom of the carton. "Fuck." And how does everyone co-exist at school after that? "Hope you rock it out next year in 8th grade and sorry about the rat poison thing! FAF? (forgive and forget?)" A judge found the girls, 12 and 13, guilty today and they'll be sentenced May 12.