Will Wallingford Residents Dare Stop Steven Seagal...'s Band?
Those of you with plans to hijack the Tractor Tavern and remove its nuclear warheads or use it as a control center in your effort to take control of a top-secret government outer space super-weapon on Saturday May 27, think again. Your plans may be foiled by, no not the cook, but a member of the band.
The Steven Seagal Blues Band will be performing in front of what we can only assume will be a crowd full of fans of irony.
What? You didn’t know that movie star Steven Seagal had his own band? Well let’s hope that members of the band don’t find out either or Ticketmaster will be providing a crap load of show cancellation refunds.
Not only does the man have a band, he also has three albums--which is three more than Mozart ever recorded. Plus we don’t think Wolfgang did his own stunts. No wonder he died penniless.
So you may be saying to yourself, "I would have paid thousands for a ticket back in the mid-1990s when there was no better way to spend an afternoon then heading over to the Uptown Cinemas for a Seagal double feature, but come on that was years ago, hasn’t he peaked?"
Well, according to our favorite sportswriter Bill Simmons (whose recent email exchange with Malcolm Gladwell was the most fascinating piece on sports we have read in a very long time) The Glimmer Man’s work still entertains. Seattlest Seth had this to say about Seagal, "Years after his last hit action movie, Steven Seagal still has a hold on our collective consciousness.” Yet more evidence why no one sits next to Seth at parties.
It will be interesting if the residents of Wallingford who rallied to stop concerts by BB King, Lucinda Williams, and the Indigo Girls have the guts to take on this one man army. A little tip for them: stick to skimming Utne Reader at the Essential Bakery, lest you want your brains kicked out all over the Jitterbug Café.
