Remember: Nothing Beats Rock
All of the attention this weekend is on the Super Bowl, but really, who cares? There's a feigned hometown pride, but really, for most of the players in the professional ranks, they're going to play for whoever pays them the big bucks. George Bush may claim to care about black people, and the Seahawks may claim to care about Seattle, but let's wait and see what happens when it's time for contract negotiations.
Our point with this is not to bash football or professional sports, just to inject some reality into our gridiron jingoism. The true spirit of competition is far too populist to be limited to only millionaires on TV, but instead comes from normal people engaging in a rousing game after a long day at work. A heated Scrabble match, late-night ping-pong, or video game asskickery all stay true to the spirit of crushing your opponent's ego through skill, timing, and poise.
Mission recognizes the purity in these homegrown pursuits, and Saturday is holding an event almost antithetical to the spectacle of the Big Game on Sunday. Saturday night Mission is holding an official Rock Paper Scissors Tournament, endorsed by the World RPS Society.
You should be familiar with the rules. Rock crushes scissors, scissors cut paper, and paper covers rock. Like Tetris, it's deceptively simple to learn, but has intricasies that only come out with time and dedication. Game theorists have figured out the mathematically optimal way to play, but since there's a degree of psychology involved as well, even that approach isn't foolproof. Toss in the possibility of non-sanctioned drinking contests and the spectre of riots looms over this whole event. If ever there was an event that required attendance, this is it. Seattlest will be there, smack-talking and destroying all competitors. We're so confident we'll even tell you our strategy. The Simpsons knew what they were talking about when Bart's brain said "Good old Rock. Nothin' beats that!"
Rock Paper Scissors Tournament
Mission, 2325 California Ave. SW (West Seattle)
Saturday, Feburary 4th, 8pm
Free Cover, Pre-registration $5
21+
