I, Not Anonymous

Being the guest authors for Stranger Suggests has put Seattlest in a Stranger-centric frame of mind these past few days. Recently, we got to thinking about the I, Anonymous feature in which an unnamed person goes off on someone or thing that makes them red in the face. While occasionally funny, the anonymous confessors are more often tragic in a passive-aggressive way that makes us wonder how someone could get so bent by their roommate's bad hygiene.

Here at Seattlest headquarters, we're fans of plain old, direct confrontation. Especially if it is funny. This past Friday evening, we made a jaunt to Dick's on Capitol Hill to stave off a potential hangover the next day. Not only was an oblivious cell phoner at the window blathering on at high volume with his buddy, he was holding up our entire damn line because he couldn't order his deluxe with fries and a shake while pontificating about which deck bar he was going to hit later. We gave Mr. Cell Phone a full shake-down in front of the whole Dick's crowd, and were surprised to be cheered on by our fellow line-mates who had previously failed to intimidate him with their glowering stares.

Here's a tip for other passive-aggressive, polite Seattleites: print yourself some Shhhh cards and indulge your inner bitch-slap at least once this month. They allow you to sample the gray area between passive aggression and outright Jerry Springer chair-throwing, plus they're craftily designed and amusing to boot.