Dissecting Grey's Anatomy: Brand Spankin' New Years Edition

The doctors McDreamy talk about a fight they had earlier in the day which started off with McDreamy cooking freshly caught rainbow trout in his trailer and ends with Addison shrieking and McDreamy saying she's the queen of a land called Passive Aggressiva. Hmmm...with this land, Seattlest is very familiar. To which we say, long live the Queen. They bicker a bit more over Meredith, McDreamy recommends she simply wait out his feelings and she's fine with that because he said he "loved" Meredith, not "loves" her. Yes, semantics are very important in Passive Aggressiva. But she still hates the trailer.

Izzie is partnered with a flirty, charming Javier Bardem-type gentleman who's in the hospital to get a heart transplant. He asks if she's with Alex, she says no. In fact, she even tells Alex she forgives him for his indiscretions on account of the New Year (sadly, there's no mention of whether or not this is what Jesus would do).

Nazi, meanwhile, is on a recon mission to Idaho to retrieve a heart for the charmer, and Cristina has insinuated herself along for the ride after Webber ordered her out of the hospital for exceeding her 80 hour work week. She keeps staring at Nazi's ever-increasing belly during the chopper ride, probably because Burke keeps asking her what she was going to do with her own ill-fated pregnancy. Nazi says that when she found out she was pregnant, she paused (a pregnant pause, if you will....or won't), and thought that a baby may not fit into the life plan of a woman as career-driven as herself, but that the feeling quickly subsided. They head to the Idaho hospital, where unfortunately they are not able to get the heart.

Back in Seatown (we hate that nickname, we have no idea why we just said that...apologies all around), a devastated Izzie breaks the news to her new almost-beau patient (well, that's more wishful thinking on our part) and he says he understands, but is clearly equally upset.

When Cristina returns from the trip she wasn't supposed to go on, and for which Burke covered for her, she tells him that she wasn't going to keep the baby but that he shouldn't be mad cause she's just an intern and they barely knew each other. He says he's not angry, but that he just wanted to know. He just wants to know things. He is really bordering on being too good for her, but we want to see a boatload of blasian babies from these two, so we're gonna let it slide.

Alex has been awaiting the results of his medical exams, which he recently retook and which his livelihood depends on. And we'll save you the suspense...we don't find out his results this week. He's assigned to a suffering writer who's taken it upon himself to suffer even more for his work by eating--yep, eating--his self-proclaimed shite novel. Unfortunately, after the surgery to remove the massive wad of paper from his stomach, the man also contracts mercury poisoning. But of course, he'll be just fine.

Georgie pairs up with Mrs. McDreamy with a teenage girl who has a rather large tumor-like protuberance near her abdomen. While they conduct tests to rule out cancer, Georgie-boy realizes her hormone levels are a bit wacky. He asks her pour quoi and she tells him she's been taking about five birth control pills a day to try and hurry along her, um, development. She says she feels different, all her friends have boyfriends but her and she's just stuck with drawing a comic book. Which she happens to be pretty good at.
The results come back and it turns out the tumor wasn't a tumor at all, it was a testes. So the gal is actually a gal-guy. A hermaphrodite. Needless to say, the 'rents ain't too pleased, and they want Addison to take out the offending sexual organ without telling their daughter/son about it. She refuses. George wants them to tell the patient about it, but they want to do it on their own time. Well, their own time comes a bit early as George hints at something being wrong in front of the patient and saying he won't lie to her. So she's told, Georgie's off the case and no one's too happy. Except for the girl, who seems to think this explains why she always felt so different. She asks if this means she could be a boy if she wanted to, and George tells her it does. So she asks him to cut her hair off, boy-style, which he starts to do. Her mom comes in in the middle of it, and she takes over. See, peeps? Acceptance is what it's all about.

Meanwhile, with her time off, Meredith heads over to visit Grey the Elder, at which point she sees McDreamy. With her mother. Um...what? We would be pissed. Naturally, so's Meredith. She says you can screw with me (quite literally, we may add) but not her mother. He says he's doing a favor to Webber, and that there is an experimental treatment that may help Ellis. Meredith tells him to talk to the hand, only in more suitably-modern vernacular, and he runs back to daddy, er, Chief. Webber takes it upon himself to ask Meredith about the procedure she earlier poo-pooed and she ultimately relents, signing over her power of attorney.

The episode ends up coming 'round full circle, with Izzie and Georgie once again hiding out in the bathroom, eating pizza and avoiding contact with the canine evil-doer. Meredith too has her fill after the dog eats her laundry, a lesser offense, though, than it's bed-peeing, clothes-shredding, back-humping sexual assaults on Georgie, and joins her roomies in their hide-out. She tells us, via voice-over, of course, that it's important to remember, amid all the crap and new resolutions that there's a few things worth holding onto to. Okay, Meredith. Maybe we missed you after all.