We Drink In Ballard: Crown Hill Pub

Next to Centerfolds, Seattle's only male strip club (unless you count that place way out in Rainier Valley--which we don't), sits a dive bar worthy of the moniker, Crown Hill Pub. It is, afterall, in Crown Hill, and seeing as they only serve beer and wine, it is merely a pub. Most establishments which only serve beer and wine make up for lack of hard liquor with a vast selection of local microbrews and regional vintages. The Crown Hill Pub's most exotic selections include Miller High Life, Budweiser, Yellow Tail, and Ernest & Julio Gallo. That's fine, though, because we're not here at 10 o'clock on a Sunday morning to try something new, or god forbid, something drinkable. We're here to nurse our hangover and shoot free pool.

The pool tables are in surprisingly good shape, the same cannot be said for the cues. So bring your own stick if you've got one. All the regulars bring their own and most play competitively so be warned, you probably won't win.
From the attractive but not attentive Czech bartendress, we order a pitcher of Bud LIght, scrawl our name on the billiard waiting list, and grab a seat. Atmospherically, the establishment is missing something. Ah, yes! Music. The jukebox sits quietly between the entrances to the men's and women's restrooms. It awaits our money and subsequent selections.

The music is all over the map in a really mainstream sort of way. Because there are two names ahead of us on the list, we insert two dollars and make eight selections.

"The Bottle Let Me Down" by Merle Haggard begins the set as we begin our drinks. In no time at all, it is our turn to shoot stick. Heidi is our opponent. Her gait is wide, her voice is deep, her handshake strong. We rack. She breaks. The cluster shatters and a couple balls sink. No problem, we think, we still have a chance. Then she lines up and sinks three more before missing a difficult bank.

Our turn. We circle the table with the cue floating above, drawing lines in our mind, hoping that her leave isn't as great as it looks. "Barbie Girl" by Aqua begins to play over the jukebox and there is an audible groan emitted from every patron (except us). This energizes us and, throwing caution to the wind, we line up a solid and miraculously sink it. The next shot doesn't go so well.

Back to Heidi. She sizes up the table, makes a shot, makes another, makes one more, then wins the game. Well, at least we didn't pay for the game. Nor did we pay for any of the subsequent games. All we pay for is the beer, and after six hours at the pub and not a win to speak of, we hop a bus and head home.

The Crown Hill Pub
8511 15th Ave NW