Dissecting Grey's Anatomy: Can't Get No Satisfaction Edition
Hmm...now where have we seen this before? Meredith goes to Joe's bar (Joe!). Meredith meets man. Meredith takes man home and ravishes him for supposed one-night stand only to be faced with him again the following morning. Oh, that's right: The very first episode. But fear not, viewers, those highly original and not at all trite and/or metaphorically-leaning writers have not yet begun to recycle storylines. They have, however, decided it was about time for the Seattle Grace docs to do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight. Well, get down, but also up...so to speak.
Meredith opens the episode by telling us that when you're a kid, it's the Halloween candy. You hide it from your parents and eat until you're sick. In college, it's the mixture of youth, tequila and you-know-what. As surgeons, they take as much of the good stuff as they can get as it doesn't come around all that often. Um, except for in Meredith's sake. Apparently she's been whoring it up big time down at Emerald City Bar. But even for our golden girl, too much of anything is not a good thing.
It's montage time! Make that salacious montage time. Well, salacious enough for a TV show put on a network run by Disney montage time. But still. We take it where we can get it. Meredith and bar boy-toy Steve are doing some horizontal boogying, as are Burke and Cristina. Ditto Izzie and Alex. And just for good measure, the McDreamys decide its time to get down and dirty. Heck, the whole gang is getting it on, save for little Georgie, who's also conspicuously absent for most of the episode. Seattlest no likey.
Meredith gets up in the morning and tells the object of her fleeting affections to be gone by the time she gets out of the shower. Cristina calls and tells her she spent the night and Burke's and boy oh boy, is it a sterile, un-comfy environment. Stainless steel everything, the pad brings minimalist chic to a new low, with not a tchotchke to be found. Even the books are arranged by the Dewey decimal system. Who knew Burke was so anal? To top it off, Cristina finds an apartment key left in her coffee mug. So coffee's not the only thing brewing. Cause you know, trouble is too. Sorry, folks, they can't all be gems.
Meredith makes her way to work, after skipping out on early morning chatter between Izzie and Georgie about the constant stream of one-night stands Meredith parades around the house. Izzie asks if young O'Malley still has the hots for his waifish roomie and doubts his negatory response. As do we all.
Once at the hospital, Meredith is just thanking her lucky stars that she won't have to see her one night stand anymore when who should appear but the man himself. He wasn't looking for Meredith, though. Didn't even realize she worked there. Only showed up cause he has a bit of a problem. A sort of it-won't-go-down type of problem. Normally due to the ingesting of too many little blue man pills (which Seattlest knows absolutely positively nothing about) but since he took none, it's test time.
Turns out, the poor sod has a tumor which McDreamy is called in to remove. After asking a few questions about the nature of the affliction, he deduces in all his neurosurgeon glory that Meredith and overexcited Steve are a one-night stand couple. He tells her that he knew she'd start dating again sometime, but "eventually" feels different than "actually." They share mutual pain at not being together, but McDreamy removes Steve's tumor and all is well. Or as Cristina so deftly put it, "Congratulations, you're flaccid."
Izzie and Alex, meanwhile, had some technical difficulties of their own. The exact opposite of Steve and Meredith, since with them, there was nothing pointing upward at all. Izzie worries it's her fault, Alex assures her he's just tired. They decide to give it the old college try a bit later on at work and once again, the parts are not in working order. Alex vows to "do it till we do it" but before they start back up, Izzie is paged away.
She's been assigned to work alongside Mrs. McDreamy with a woman who's pregnant with quintuplet girls. Izzie judges her, of course, especially when she finds out the reproducing maniac has triplet boys at home, but comes around a bit when the woman confides in her the kidlets-to-be's names and personalities. But problems arise. Multiple heart, brain and organs-growing-outside-babies-bodies surgeries are required. The woman goes into early labor and all docs are on deck. Izzie sets off to find Alex, who's the only one that didn't answer his page.
Well, the bastard doc was still smarting from his earlier failures and sought solace in the arms of syphilis receptacle Olivia. He asks if everything was good when they were together, she says it was great, and apparently to Alex, that's a full blown invitation to mount her. They start to get it on in the hospital room, and who do you think walks in on this spectacle of jackassery? Izzie.
McDreamy meanwhile was assigned to treat a guy who had some sort of brain cyst and thought he was still on a plane. Seattlest never did catch his profession, but it was important enough that he nabbed his own assistant. Whom he promptly fired. To this guy, illness is weakness and no one can see him like that. Alex was also assigned to him and was constantly berated as a hotshot doctor who had no friends. That's telling him, professionless, irritating patient guy.
Cristina confronts Burke about the key incident. The good doctor tells her that it's just a key, not an engagement ring or anything, and that she should think about moving in with him. He also says he's been taking all the steps in the relationship and if he has to take any more, he may turn his stepping shoes in another direction and just walk away entirely. Ouch.
Cristina relents and surprises Burke by using the key over at his apartment. But she tells him he doesn't really know her, so they head over to Cristina's apartment and...wha? How did Seattlest's living room get up on the screen? Oh, right, that's not ours. Just Cristina's pile of dirty clothes, plates, old mail, books and garbage all compounding on what we can only assume is an actual floor. Yeah, we had one of those once too. OCD Burke is shocked, but presumably not for long cause they consummate their new living situation post haste. But the modern Oscar & Felix can't rejoice in their connubial bliss for long—they're both paged to help with the baby surgery.
Roll call! All docs are accounted for in the O.R., as triple surgery on the quints gets underway.
So, Meredith wants to know, how do you know how much is too much? What's too much too soon? Too much information? Too much fun? Too much to ask of someone? And most of all, how do you know when it's just too much to bear? Well, Seattlest has some questions of its own, starting with how do you know when there's much too much of too much questions?
Still with us? Good. Then check back next week when we find out the fate of the preemies. Are they all good? All bad? Well, Grey's Anatomy is too cool to end the episode on a "To Be Continued..." note, but, well, it is.
Need more Joe in your diet? Don't we all. Check out his fictitious musings at Joe's blog.
