Dissecting Grey's Anatomy: McSophie's Choice Edition

A reputation-damaged Alex is relegated to suture duty since he can't seem to handle scalpels too well. He proceeds to get ragged on by a very rude friend of a patient who yammers on her cell phone about how young and ill-equipped Dr. Alex is to be a doctor. Um, since when can you use a cell phone in a hospital? All of Seattlest's life experience (and by "life experience," we of course mean "tv shows and movies") tells us this is not allowed. But, so be it. Well, talk about your bad karma, cause yammer-mouth keels over and dies. Just like that. Meanwhile, another pregnant patient demands to be taken to her other pregnant friend who was more injured in the train wreck. Unable to stop her, Alex brings accompanies her to find the preggers pal.

Who, of course, ends up being Izzy and Mrs.-or-maybe-soon-to-be-ex-we-still-don't-know-which McDreamy's patient. And the elder doc scolds Alex for letting a patient wander around without basic tests. Ouch. As if he needed another blow to the ego. Turns out the friend has been badly burned and the missus-or-ex-or-whatever is going to do a c-section. The woman wants to write a will first, just in case. Oh yeah. And her and her friend? Shared the same sperm donor. So they're having siblings. But they're just friends, got it? No closed-doors (or closets) hanky-panky. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Izzy passes up an opportunity to help with the surgery to stay with the other friend who's also going into labor. The salmon-scrub wearing (so passé) doc later returns from successful surgery to say, yes, she realizes Izzy may hate her, but she spots talent in the former lingerie model, and would she want to be her protégé? She's apparently sticking around for awhile. Wait, what? So does that mean…? Could it be…? Sit tight, folks, answers are coming. Man, where's Joe when you need him?

Cristina, meanwhile, is running around trying to impress Burke by helping reattach a severed leg. Problem is, she can't find it. Attempt number one yields two left feet. Second attempt brings a right, albeit shaved, pedicured and, well, female, leg to the male patient. The wrong right foot if you will. So she tries to find the right right foot and is beaten to the punch by Alex. Scammer. But not before unsuccessfully threatening her on-again beau Burke into helping her. When he refuses, saying they can't be a couple at work, Cristina shoots back that she can have sex with other people at work then, since they're not a couple. Burke walks away. Good move, Burke. You've got a woman on the edge there.

Aha! Here's what we've been waiting for. This, folks, is what we call the A storyline. McDreamy, Burke, Nazi, Georgie, basically everyone so far unmentioned is working with two patients who have been speared by a wayward train pole. Like shiskabobs. But they feel no pain. Problem is, removing the pole will kill one of them, so they have to decide who's life to take and who's life to save. They decide to save the older man's life as his injuries are less severe, thus giving him a better shot at recovery. In a very touching moment, they break the news to the younger engaged girl, who just prior was cracking jokes and thinking things might work out alright. McDreamy assures her they'll put her to sleep before pulling her off the pole (Seattlest hurts just thinking about this) so she'll feel no pain and promises to deliver a special message to her delayed at the airport honey. That if love were enough, she'd still be there. SeaTac strikes again.

Meredith sobers up just in time to scrub in, and preps herself for surgery, right alongside McDreamy. Alright, folks. Answers. McDreamy says he went to the bar. Meredith says she heard. Yeah. We heard too. Saw, even. Let's get cracking with the info. Well, ask and you shall receive friends, cause then Meredith breaks out with a simple "Oh. You're staying with her." Wha? McDreamy! What say you? "She's my wife." Wow. Holy anticlimax, Batman! That sound you hear? That would be the collective gasp and subsequent hysterics of a nation in mourning. Or maybe it's just us.

Regardless, the pole gal breaks up the Hallmark moment by crashing (how dare she!) and the docs all rush in start the proceedings asap. Montage time! Pole guy's doing well, foot guy's reattached, both babies born alright, new mamas okay, but the docs have abandoned the crashing pole gal.

Meredith can't take it and starts yelling that they can't just abandon her over and over. And over. Sensing parallels here, Mere? Listen, we feel for you, but well, obviously McDreamy chose his wife. He had to. You want to keep your job? Well, then, there you go. Ross and Rachel http://www.rossandrachel.com/ didn't get together right away. Or wait. They kind of did, but then they were apart for like, eight years. The point is, we need sexual tension, okay? We need the drama of you and McDreamy not being together. And you need it too. You just don't know it yet.

So Meredith ends the episode with a little wrap-up. That as surgeons, there's so much they have to know: they have to know that they have what it takes, that they can take care of patients and each other, and eventually, they even have to figure out how to take care of themselves. And that the thing about being in the dark is that there's always hope for light.

And then we see a very touching scene with McDreamy and Nazi in an elevator. She senses waterworks, so she pulls the emergency stop and he breaks down. And then, just like that, he stops, she asks if he's okay, and releases the button. Seriously guys, best moment of the show. Oh, Nazi. We knew you had it in you.