Dissecting Grey's Anatomy: Missing Metaphor Edition
Well, well, well. Will wonders never cease? We guess if you complain about the formulaic opening of a show long enough, sooner or later someone starts listening. So this week, dear viewers, feel free to send letters of congratulatory adulation (and sizable cash donations) to Seattlest for finally using its powers for good. Because, as far as we're concerned, it was our big mouths that managed to turn those trite, poorly woven medical-affliction-as-metaphor-for-life opening moments of Grey's Anatomy into a, um, trite, poorly woven optimistic-glass-of-life-is-half-full or-learn-to-say-enough-or-when-or-something-as-metaphor-for-life opening moment. So, yeah. You're welcome.
So the episode begins with both Meredith and Cristina praying to the porcelain god for reasons of tequila and morning sickness. Meredith waxes her trademark philosophical, voice-over style, on how adults, particularly in relationships, don't ever say "when" or "enough" because they're too enamored with the possibility of love. Apparently, puking brings out her romantic side.
But so as the writings gods have blessed us, they have cursed us as well. Sure, we got off without medical jargon clogging up our pre-opening credit enjoyment, but we are subjected to no less than two metaphors from the mouth of one Dr. Grey. Shortly after she's spilled her guts (figuratively and literally) she graces McDreamy with this pre-shift gem: she is a sink with an open drain and everything he says is going right through her. Isabel and George mutter something about how she could have come up with a better metaphor but she was drunk. Right on, we hear you. Wonder if the writers drew from their personal life on that one.
The show kicks off with the good doctors dispatched to the incoming ambulances to treat three car accident victims: a husband and wife and their son. Turns out the accident was due to the husband's road rage, and passengers in the other car were killed. Hate him yet? Yeah, us too. If not, then wait for it….wait for it….he's also a wife beater. Yep! We knew you'd come around! And this classy piece of work also happens to be a bit of an alcoholic and, well, he needs a liver transplant. And his son is the only possibility of a blood match. His son that hates him. And rightfully so.
Alex, meanwhile, continues his upward spiral of redemption and confides in the angry young man that he had some experience with that type of anger himself. And that's why he became a wrestler and drank his milk and did everything to grow big and strong so he could protect his mother should his dad come after her. Well, he did and, um, he did, and then Alex's father took off. And now he wishes there were another way that they could all have talked it through.
The mano a mano talk seemed to do the trick, much to the doctors' relief and Isabelle's increased attraction. The kid agrees to be a donor for his old man so long as his mother agrees to talk to the cops and that they move out after the surgery. Mama agrees.
Webber's wife in da house! Not sure what she's doing there, but Shepherd called her as a sort of payback for his out of commission boss. Seems she and Burke could both profit from her husband's retiring. Cue evil laugh.
Burke and Shepherd meanwhile spend the duration of the episode pulling rank, and doing practically everything short of whipping out a measuring stick. McDreamy, you see, is jealous of Burke's position. And Burke, you see, is, well, he's trying his darnedest to get the job done, but sometimes there's just too many patients and not enough operating rooms.
One of which happens to be filled with a man who is originally suspected of carrying balloons of drugs, but who actually turns out to just have swallowed ten Judy doll heads. Hmmm…psych evaluation anyone? He doesn't divulge why he ingested them, though hypotheses abound. Maybe cause they'd feel better on the way out? Yeah, we could've done without that one too. Meredith, fountain of metaphor though she is thinks maybe he's empty and is trying to fill himself up so he doesn't feel so alone. Yeah, we're sure that's it. It's also important to mention that the Nazi takes great pleasure in removing said doll heads and is able to name each head model, intestine covered and all
George is busy with another DOA patient and is frustrated that he is going through the motions on someone with no chance and that he is paired with Olivia, fair Olivia, the woman who sets his loins on fire. Or at least who gave him that burning sensation. She still likes him, and he likes her, too, but just—get this, kids—not enough. Oh, Georgie. Way to bring this week's theme full circle. And to bring out your heartless side. Ouch. That seemed unnecessarily harsh (good rule of thumb: never a good idea to refer to preferring the ebola virus over dating a girl you're currently in the throes of dumping). Of course, he's still got the hots for Meredith and, of course, he still has no chance. Oh yeah, he also realizes his patient is not dead after all and with the help of McDreamy, they save her from premature organ harvesting.
For some unknown reason, McDreamy rounds out the episode by usurping Meredith's poor opening metaphor (why, Dempsey, why?!) and rebuffing Addison's attempt at an apology.
Oh, Meredith. Here you go again, what with your bottomless glasses and wanting a taste and needing to know what's being poured and sometimes, just sometimes, wanting more.
