Ask Seattlest: The Monorail

Q: Is the Monorail dead?

A: Was Terry Schiavo? It depends on who you ask.

The mayor and the city council both want the Monorail to die, and have done everything they can to kill it. The mayor cancelled an agreement that allowed the Monorail to build on city streets. The city council gracefully piled on, voting 9-0 to cancel the same agreement.

But the Monorail board, in a Hail Mary effort that one local political consultant likened to a "circular firing squad," wants you, the people, to vote on the Monorail once again.

Q: Didn't I already vote for the Monorail?

A: Yes--if you are us, or these guys, you voted for it four times. But the Monorail board can't afford to build the line you voted for (Ballard to West Seattle). They want to build a shorter line (West Seattle to Interbay) instead. And, based on the resolution that created the Monorail board in the first place, they have to ask voters if it's ok to alter their plans so drastically.

So in November, voters will be asked whether the Monorail board should build this new, shorter line. If the voters say no, the Monorail board will shut down.

Q: Why doesn't the Monorail Board have enough money to build the Monorail? I paid my f***ing car tab.

A: Because the Monorail's financial "wizards" overestimated the amount of money that the car tab tax would generate--evidently due to a confusing spreadsheet, the Stranger has reported.

Q: A confusing spreadsheet? WTF! Microsoft strikes again, huh?

A: No shit.

Q: What happens if the new Monorail ballot measure passes?

A: That's unclear. Without the right-of-way agreement that the mayor and city council revoked, the Monorail cannot be built.

However, if the measure passes, the fat cat politicians at City Hall would presumably bow to the will of the voters and reinstate the agreement. In fact, we can pretty much assure that they would do so, since the Seattle City Council's backbone functions about as effectively as Terri Schiavo's did.

Q: And if the measure fails, I get my car tab taxes back, right?

A: Dude...

Q: Right? I get them back, right?

A: I hate to say this...

Q: You can't be serious.

A: The Monorail has debt--it will have to pay that debt off with the taxes it has collected. Not only won't you get your money back, but the tax may continue.

Q: Oh. No prob--I can sell my car, thus avoiding the tax, and commute to work on our state-of-the-art mass transit system!

A: Don't be a smartass.