O Captain, My Captain! (of Crap)

In today's Seattle P-I, reporter John Hickey announces that Adrian Beltre is the Mariners' new clubhouse leader.

Thank you, Adrian, for leading the Mariners into the basement of the American League West. You recall such great personages as Field Marshal Douglas Haig, General George McClellan and Hedley Lamarr.

Are we bitter? Yes. How could one not be when exposed to this condescending piece, also in the P-I, which attempts to generate excitement for the upcoming series with Texas by pointing out that the Mariners could--catch the Rangers! for third place! in a four team division!

We can see the highlight video tagline now: "The 2005 Seattle Mariners--less crappy than Texas."

The article even invokes the word "race," as in "pennant race," to describe the M's-Texas series. A battle for second-to-last place is not a race. It's a disg-race.

19-year-old phenom Felix Hernandez, who is the talk of baseball, starts Friday, at home, against the White Sox. That's all you need to know about these Mariners. Buy tickets.