Devolution of the Species

When accounts of George Bush's apparent endorsement of "Intelligent Design" hit the media a while back Seattlest saw it as the president's way of boosting the result count for a google search of "bush intelligent". Soon after, though, our jaw slackened and we began staring through a poster on the wall and into the middle distance. Our tools have been getting progressively cruder since then, and ooooOO! OOoo-Oooo Ahhhh!

During what was no-doubt to be one of our last moments experiencing what the higher primates refer to as consciousness we focused our creative and lingusitic abilities on posting a searing and hilarious response to our neighbors at the Discovery Institute, unfortunately our opening line, "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times," was followed by nonsensical strings of characters that we can only attribute to mashing our fists into the keyboard.

Luckily for us we publish in a medium that whole-heartedly condones linking to and quoting from someone else's searing and hilarious response in lieu of actually writing something ourselves. In light of that, check out The Onion's "Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory":

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Follow the instructions printed here after you've scanned the Onion piece.