A Very Big Day in Sports

One of the most-anticipated, most-discussed and most-watched sporting events of 2005 will be played today. You probably don't know what we're talking about. That's because this event is a soccer match.

"Whenever I'm watching a soccer game," an American comic once said, "I'm thinking, 'Pick up the f***ing ball.'"

This observation has stuck with us because it succinctly encapsulates American feelings about the world's most popular sport.

We just don't get it.

And that annoys us.

Soccer can be tremendously entertaining. The best thing about it is the passion of its fans, a passion you simply can't experience in North America. Here in the U.S., baseball fans are condemned for reaching two inches into the playing field.

In Europe, soccer fans throw lit flares at opposing players.

Ironically, the dullest fans in the world are found at U.S. soccer matches. Though considered a sport for the poor in most of the world, soccer here in America is an upper middle-class pasttime.

Your average Seattle Sounders fan is a professional dullard who drove his three spoiled kids to the game from Woodinville in a Ford Excursion. You think Thomas P. McSoccerDad is going to try to smuggle a flare gun into Seahawks Stadium?

Doubtful. He might lose his parking pass!

Today, however, is one of those rare days when you can watch soccer the way it was meant to be watched—with a bunch of drunken Brits.

It's the final of the European Champions League—a special tournament contested by the top teams of Europe's professional leagues. And the George and Dragon, an English pub in Fremont which was named one of the top ten places in America to watch soccer, is opening early to welcome soccer fans for the 11:30 AM start.

Imagine if the Red Sox played a tournament against the Tokyo Giants, Mexico City Red Devils, and some Australian League team. Now imagine if that tournament weren't totally lopsided, the teams were desperate for victory, and everyone watched the games. That's Champions League.

In today's final, Liverpool, a member of the English Premier League, plays AC Milan, a member of Italy's Serie A league.

Presumably, at the George and Dragon, there will be authentic Liverpudlians present to wow the men with their drinking ability and charm the ladies with their languid accents.

In any event, there will be chanting, humorously unfamiliar English cursing, and Newcastle flowing freely. But, unless one comic's prayers are answered, only the goalies will pick up the ball.