Mariners Get Baseball's Most Valuable Player
It's true--the last place Mariners, in a bold and reckless move, have traded for baseball's Most Valuable Player.
Would ya believe, former Most Valuable Player?
How about...former Most Valuable Player of the World Series.
OK, they got the Most Valuable Player of the World Series of 1992.
That's right, the Mariners have traded for 42-year-old catcher Pat Borders, whose single spurt of baseball competence came 13 years ago when he hit .450 in the Fall Classic. First-place Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, ya'll betta recognize.
This will mark the fifth season that Borders has appeared, however briefly, in a Mariners uniform. In team history, only three other catchers have logged more seasons.
USS Mariner is unimpressed. One must remember however, that according to GM Bill Bavasi in this 2003 article in the P-I, "the club has a special relationship with [Borders]."
This could mean one of two things:
- Borders owns compromising photographs of Bill Bavasi cavorting with Kofi Annan's son, a dog in a Campfire girls uniform, and a female impersonator.
- Borders owns compromising photographs of Bill Bavasi cavorting with Kofi Annan's son, a dog in a Girl Scout uniform, and a Kofi Annan impersonator.
Borders, who from the look of the above picture is well on his way to contracting face cancer, is nominally the backup catcher. But since the Mariners' starting catcher has the worst batting average of any starting major league player, Borders will likely get more playing time than the average backup.
