Showdogs Update

Previously on Showdog Moms and Dads: Brandon and Ryan went all Cops on us and involved the Issaquah police in their dog-related domestic dispute.

We open back in the parking lot of Riverdog in Issaquah, where Brandon is telling the cops that Ryan is holding his dog "for ransom," which we think has to be the most dramatic reimagining of the situation possible, and which, we have decided, is driving us further into Ryan's arms in terms of picking favorites in the relationship.

The fellas rebook their ball-dropping appointment at Riverdog and return, still bickering/controlling/making-us-want-to-stay-single-forever, but without police intervention. (Though the dog trainer does admonish them: "Boys! Don't nit-pick each other," and "Okay. You guys need to be adults about this.") She also teaches them to use a spray bottle as a way to keep their dogs from barking.

Ryan puts this new information to dubious use sans Brandon at Liberace/Chachi's first dog show, where both Liberace and Daisy snarl and bark and Ryan busts out with our quote of the show: he actually tries to get them to stop barking by yelling "SPRAY BOTTLE! SPRAY BOTTLE!" at the little ones, and then quietly says, "I should have brought the spray bottle." (We think we have a new macro.) Liberace then poops on Ryan's car seat and proceeds to try to bite all the humans at the dog show.

But Ryan continued his campaign for our hearts by calling Brandon with the results: "The good news is we got second place. And the bad news would be that there were only two dogs, and we're lucky that someone didn't file a lawsuit against us."

In other Showdog news: Connie's dog got the runs at a show and did not do well. Later, Connie and George expressed Pepe's anal glands, causing George to announce that rather than national security, he is obsessed with "anal security." Moira's dog licked cream cheese off a Playboy model's bottom for a photo shoot, causing her pubescent son Adam to collapse in weird, hormone-related agony. Kyra's dog/child Chalcy had surgery on her cut paw. Lourdes road-tripped with her handler, Susan, and even simply watching the footage made us realize that in that situation we would jump out of the moving minivan.

Scenes from next week suggest doggie surgery is in the cards for little Liberace. Will it bring Brandon and Ryan together, or drive them apart...?

Ryan's feather-boas-for-dogs business is on the web here.

Catch Showdog Moms and Dads Wednesday nights at 10 on Bravo.