Showdog Battles

Wherein Seattlest follows the fate of Seattle's most recent reality TV folk, Brandon and Ryan of Showdog Moms and Dads.

We got a little preachy in our last post about Showdog Moms and Dads, so this week we'll just tell you about the funny stuff you missed.

It was a show devoted to the area below the belt. Lourdes, the childless woman who treats her German shepherds as her children, took her bitch in for more (graphic) fertility testing. We were treated to a shot of Connie giving her whippet what essentially looked like a garden-hose colonic ("nasty little poo-poos on there!"). Moira gets tangentially involved in a dog-bite incident with a dog owner so crazy that we can't believe the cameraperson didn't drop the camera while convulsing with laughter (the owner's excuse is that the dog bites her as well..."in my vagina two times he bite me!")

Brandon and Ryan learned that their prized possible future showdog, Liberace (or "Chachi" for short), has an issue with undescended testicles. Apparently they have to descend before you can show the dog, and the solution is for the owners to massage 'em on down. Cut to grossed-out faces on Brandon and Ryan.

The two then got into a terrible fight en route to the trainer who was ready to show them how to, well, drop the balls. Ryan, apparently, owes Brandon's mother some money. Or something. First Ryan leapt out of the car at an intersection. The two then spoke on the phone and Brandon picked him back up...which was followed by a reignition of the argument, now taking place on the Interstate and with Brandon developing those crazy bulging rage-guy veins in his head. They arrive at Riverdog, a fancy dog-training place in Issaquah, where Brandon declares that the dog is his and only his. Ryan refuses, Brandon calls the Issaquah police, and all of a sudden we're like, who changed the channel to Cops? And then? "To be continued."

Catch Showdog Moms and Dads Wednesday nights at 10 on Bravo.