Wanna Fight?

If you're like Seattlest, you've regrettably gotten yourself sucked in to The Contender. Now you've got the bloodlust and you're wondering, is there a Battle in Seattle? (Think TKO, not WTO.)

There is, if you're willing to make the trek to the Emerald Queen Casino this Saturday night. Therein lies the Battle at the Boat XXXVI, the region's almost-monthly professional boxing card.

Seattlest attended in January and had a screamingly good time. We know little about boxing--we couldn't score a fight to save our lives--but that didn't stop us from selecting and cheering for our favorites and booing the bad guys. The night opened with a fight between two boxers in their professional debuts--except one was so spazzy and talentless (pictured above) that the fight was called. One gentleman in the crowd reacted just as you would want one gentleman in the crowd to react--by throwing hot pretzel chunks at the loser and then being quickly escorted from the theater. We also saw a skinny, scared-looking kid fall like timber from a single punch, and lay there motionless long enough for us to turn to our companions and say, "Time for a bathroom break!" (He came to, eventually.) And though this retelling may suggest that it was a Night Without Talent, the fights nearer the top of the card were of high-enough caliber (and with enough rounds) that we were on the edge of our seat, biting our nails, feeling the drama....Oh, and yes, they have girls in bikinis and high heels holding up the "Round X" cards.

It's like The Contender, without all of the heartwarming familial backstory, which you'll end up making up in your head during the waits between rounds, anyway.

Ticket tip: Get the cheap seats ($20) but make sure they are "elevated." You'll sit in the bleachers on the very stage that Eddie Money occasionally graces, and you'll have one of the few guaranteed clear views of the fights. You'll also be back a little bit, so no worries about blood, sweat, or hot pretzel chunks getting in your hair.

Battle at the Boat XXXVI, 7:30 pm Saturday at the Emerald Queen. Tickets (sadly) at Ticketmaster.