New Applicant for Lake Washington Monster
Position: Sea Monster
Company: City of Seattle
Compensation: Negotiable
If you're a sea monster looking for exciting employment you should know of this opportunity in Seattle. Our residents are desperate for an unknown aquatic lifeform (sea monster) and this is the perfect chance for you to grow professionally while at the same time building your skills and gaining experience.
You will be responsible for making frequent appearances on local websites and newscasts and must be willing to pose for amatuer photography. Forty years experience as a sea monster in an urban environment is required, and any connection to Native American mythology is a huge plus. C++ and Java are also a plus. Apply by email with attached resume or in person.
Numerous attempts have been made to popularize a sea monster in the Seattle or Puget Sound environs. A few years ago flyers advertising a film about the wholly invented "Willatuk" were plastered around town, although references to the film outside of the promotional website are nearly as elusive as the monster itself, and Seattlest is coming to believe the monster and the film are equally as likely to actually exist.
Reports of giant sturgeon living in Lake Washington are more frequent and plausible, but it appears a new monster may exist. KIRO TV is reporting a caiman is loose in Lake Washington, presumably an escaped pet. Medina police sent out an email Friday warning residents not to approach the animal.
